beginnings - more
The start in St. Quentin
In a letter to his parents (2.12.1871) Leo Dehon writes:
"With good heart I've begun my work here and I don't feel any repugnance. I hope to do a little good, that's all I can expect. In the confessions, in the attendance to the sick and in the schools I see the miseries of society up close. I aim above all to recover somewhat the moral misery." (LD 187)
In order to appreciate these words correctly, we must remember again Dehon's terrible struggle concerning his 'great decision' in 1871's summer, when he had almost decided to join the Assumptionists of d'Alzon in Nîmes. In addition, we have to consider that Dehon had hardly any relationship with the clergy and the pastoral situation of his diocese. In 1869 he writes in a letter to M. Freyd: "I consider the secular clergy of my diocese, and I can hardly see my place there." (LD 122, 30.7.1869)
In no way can we call this a choice on Dehon's part, when in November 1871 he begins his ministry as seventh chaplain in St. Quentin (where, following his own expression, his bishop "shipped" him). In his memories he will not only present, but more than this confess, this event as emerging from God's will and providence:
"On 3 November, only by the will of God I was sent to St. Quentin... That was absolutely the opposite of all I expected after many years, a life of piety and studies. Fiat!" (NHV IX/71).
Apart from Dehon's typical pathos these words may appear as an after the fact interpretation of the events. Indeed it is part of Dehon's personality that he is continuously retrospective about his life, always searching to discover God's guidance and providence. Deeply convinced that there are no casual events in life but only divine providence, he integrates all ups and downs in this very positive approach to life. The enormous corpus of his memoirs and diaries proclaim that God can write straight even with crooked lines.
And so Dehon begins his ministry in November 1871 not with enthusiasm, but in a very open spirit. He is pleased to decorate his private rooms, he is ready to face the pastoral challenges, he gets in contact with familiar circles like the St. Vincent of Paul Society. Thus only some months later, he is able to write in a letter to his friend Palustre: "Very much better than I expected it, I got into the active ministry." (letter to Palustre, 8.1.1872)